Cold Fusion – SMother Mother Sister Edition

Our youngest of four children is John. He’s now 15 and a sophomore in high school.

He has two older sisters – Mary Kathryn (24) and Nora (18). John also has an older brother William (21).

In the fall of 2001, we informed them that their mother was pregnant again.

William immediately began preparations to leave our house in the event that the new arrival was not a brother. William wasn’t planning to run away. William was going to leave. At the time he was almost six.

If it was a girl – he was gone. Or as we say in the South “done gone” as in “that boy is done gone.” Again, almost six and that kid had broken the code. John’s arrival returned William to Defcon 5.

The boys are rather quiet deferring to the adage “if you talk, you gotta listen.”

Frankly, they listen a lot regardless because they have two SMother Mother Sisters. Two very large acorns resting comfortably at the base of an incredibly sturdy oak tree in their own mother. Now throw in the constant love and attention from Margaret Johnson a.k.a “Granny” – the lady who provided child direction for our family from 1993 to 2013 – and you have the boys’ reality.

Surrounded.

Oh, what’s child direction? Well, when one of the kids was throwing a fit, Granny would set them in the middle of the room and say, “Child, that’s between you and the Lord and you gotta work it out! When you’re done, come up on Granny’s lap.”

Directions? There and back.

If you are counting correctly that makes FOUR mothers – direct and indirect – for the boys Not including the grandmothers! (As my father reads this he is shaking his head and shuddering…)

To say that the girls are a little overprotective of their baby brother, is like well…oh heck, that could be the new superlative comparison model going forward. Just insert Saxman SMother Mother Sisters.

Cat 1-2 hurricanes chould be either Mary or Nora. Cat 3s – both A and B. Cat 4s – Mary, Nora, and Momma Michele. Cat 5? Granny’s calling.

WHO TOLD GRANNY?!?!

Boy, you better get done gone real quick…

Ok. You’re up to speed on the lay of the land leading up to the events of Tuesday, September 28, 2017 at 9:28pm when the VCU seismology department’s Richter Scale pegged.

I texted the girls that John had asked a girl out on his first date. (that’ll teach them to move out)

To Shnoots (Mary Kathryn) and Nora Is Awesome Like I’m Totally Not Even Kidding I simply texted this

“John asked a girl to Homecoming.”

I really thought that they would have responded to me. Ten minutes later their mother said, “I take it you told the girls about John going to Homecoming.”

“Yeah. I texted them but they didn’t respond.”

Apparently the Richer Scale did peg and they did respond immediately but the text thread went to my computer and not my phone. I didn’t find that thread until the next morning when I logged on. Maybe I should download that Richter Scale App. nah…..

They were “bi-tasking” – SMother Mother Sistering John and wondering where I had gone after rolling that grenade into the family tent.

So, here we go….
(This text thread was heavily edited to delete language of Sisters in Full SMotherMother Mode.)

I think the Nagasaki reference was over the top. And why is Shnoots yelling at her father? Honestly….Good thing I went to sleep on this one.

We pick up with Nora’s breaking through the social network and reporting back the identity of the young lady who has unwittingly entered the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Zone.

Social Security numbers and multiple passwords have been deleted for her protection.

“Crisis?”
“Nagasaki?”
“Bombs?”
“the heavens?”
Overruling their mother?

Do we you see the Force which = mass times acceleration?

SMother. Mother. Sisters.

You’re probably wondering how much I enjoyed sending them a picture of John’s date pinning on his boutonniere…

Mary’s response?

“She better not touch him.”

How was the Homecoming, you ask?

John said he had fun. Apparently they don’t play Stairway to Heaven, Kashmir, or Free Bird at homecomings anymore.

But for me – It was Awesome – Like I’m Totally Not Even Kidding!

Chris Saxman

About Chris Saxman

Father of four, small business leader, retired politician, and Executive Committee member and former Chairman of an international trade association, Chris Saxman delivers strategy and insight as a political coach and keynote speaker. Contact Chris.

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