Dear Son – Tip #2 (Warning* it deals with sex)

REMINDER – I did NOT come up this list. I am only using it as a conversation starter with my sons since the list is based upon “wisdom” for men because their fathers weren’t around enough. Supposedly.

Tip #2 “Never have sex with anyone that doesn’t want it as much as you”

On the morning of celebration party of your grandmother and grandfather’s 50th wedding anniversary, I asked your grandmother what were some of the keys to being married fifty years.

She said, “Well…a lot forgiveness, a lot of sex, and ”

And I have no idea what came after my mother – your grandmother – said “a lot of sex” but apparently my facial expression caused her to burst out laughing. I guess someone had to laugh. After all, the subject WAS sex and this WAS my mother.

That talk taught me a valuable lesson. If you ever want to shut you kids up, talk about sex. Not just sex in general, but actually having it. It’s like kryptonite.

If you’re still reading, I guess you are interested in my take on not having “sex with anyone who doesn’t want it as much as you.”

This one is not a tip, it’s a warning. The problem is how does one know?

Are we supposed to ask as if we are inquiring about the weather?

“Honey, what’s your level of sexual desire right now?”

“How do you mean? Like on a scale?”

“Our scale’s not big enough. Oh, you mean numerical. Uh…sure 1 to 10. Where are you about now?

“It’s four in the morning.”

“Round up then”

“Ok…um…two. How about you?”

“Fifty-seven. And climbing.”

**Note – Call Apple Product Development. Sexual tracking APP. Pings after your partner hits 7.5**

Look son, the thing is sex has been trivialized almost beyond repair at this stage. I hope the author of this list is trying to make a case for the joy of consensual, monogamous sex.

There is a real case to be made for a healthy sexual relationship. It begins with, as I noted in the previous tip, really knowing yourself and then getting to know your partner.

Sex is far more emotional than it is physical.

I strongly suggest you invest in your emotional well being before you go down the path of being sexually active. By the way, the term “sexually active” is stupid. Humans are almost always sexually active – either subconsciously or unconsciously. It’s how the species continues. Being consciously aware of your sexuality, will go a long way to your freedom and happiness.

We can discuss that further at later time – but know you can call me anytime if you have any questions about sex. As I told your sisters, I will never judge you. I will only help you. And I will always love you. That said…

No means no. Not maybe. It means no. Never, I mean NEVER force yourself on anyone.

And while we’re at it – never hit a girl. Ever. Never threaten to hit a girl. Ever.

So – NO “never have sex with anyone that doesn’t want it as much as you”

Besides, it takes away all the fun of the chasing dance in the pursuit. Romance. Wooing. Being.

What I hope you discover is that healthy sex is just the beginning of your liberation and journey to oneness.

Chris Saxman

About Chris Saxman

Father of four, small business leader, retired politician, and Executive Committee member and former Chairman of an international trade association, Chris Saxman delivers strategy and insight as a political coach and keynote speaker. Contact Chris.

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