Dear Son – Ultimate Tip #5 – First Date

Tip #5 – Never take her to the movies on the first date.

I’m going to go out on a short limb and agree with a very small caveat.

If she really wants to see a great movie that you think you can also enjoy, then make a movie PART of the event but not THE event.

If you do make a movie part of the event, make it a classic. Dial down the violence. Avoid sports – especially Field of Dreams, Brian’s Song, or Godfather I and II (why cry on your first date? Save those for disastrous dates in the future) Yes, Godfather I and II are about sports because the teach leadership, management, and whacking the opponent.

Acceptable first date movies – Casablanca – Mr. Smith Goes to Washington – It’s A Wonderful Life – and maybe Dr. Strangelove. Great flicks all, but also all black and white. This will set you up for easy conversation for the remainder of the date.

Try a different restaurant. Go with something ethnic. Vietnamese or Indian, maybe Thai. This will flesh out any dietary problems while also showing some adventure on your part. Do NOT go with the over priced Japanese hibachi flaming onion thing. Too loud and not very intimate.

Most guys will tell you to know the menu in order to project strength and confidence.

Nothing says that more than letting the wait staff order for you after you have given some reasonable parameters like not hot enough to melt your head. Or doesn’t resemble anything crawling under mom’s fridge. *Cue the laugh track*

Above all – have fun. Be a gentleman. Hold the door. Stand up from the table when she excuses herself to go text ALL of her BFFs as she goes to the restroom. Stand up when she returns.

And pay attention. Listen. The best way to do that is to ask questions about her. Don’t get weird about it. People are fascinating beings and worth getting to know. So ask interesting questions – you’ll get interesting answers.

True story time – worst movie date ever was when I saw Terms of Endearment in 1983. Jack Nicholson, Shirley Maclaine, Debra Winger.

Walking out of the theatre my date says, “Did you like the movie?”

“Sure. Nicholson was hilarious!”

“Didn’t you think it was sad?”



The evening slid downhill from there. Quickly.

With good reason.


p.s. Need to send Jack a thank you note.

Chris Saxman

About Chris Saxman

Father of four, small business leader, retired politician, and Executive Committee member and former Chairman of an international trade association, Chris Saxman delivers strategy and insight as a political coach and keynote speaker. Contact Chris.

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